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Don't Wait For Me Beneath the Mistletoe - swear​-​free version

by The Allusionettes

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A festive hit for the mood of 2020, as featured in The Allusionist podcast theallusionist.org/mistletoe

All sales proceeds will be donated to the Trussell Trust trusselltrust.org

lyrics

The usual lights are on my tree
The usual stars are in the sky
You would usually be with me
On a usual Christmas night

But this year, that’s a hard no
And we’ll both be alone
Don’t wait for me beneath the mistletoe

I’m gonna keep my distance
Til there’s mass resistance
It’s a solo Christmas this year
I’ll stay in isolation
Til the vaccination
Makes it safe for you to be here

Don’t want a gift from Santa’s sleigh
Except for you to stay the **** away
Don’t wait for me beneath the mistletoe

Fa la la la la la la

Dasher Dancer Blitzen
Keep six feet betwixt them
And there’ll be no sharing hay
Rudolph’s out on furlough
You can’t see his nose glow
With a mask upon his face

The best gift from Santa’s sleigh
Is if you stay the **** away
Don’t wait for me beneath the mistletoe

Fa la la la la la la

There’s nothing I’d like more
Than throwing wide the door
So you could run into my arms
But there’d be too much danger
To ourselves and strangers,
So I must resist your charms

It breaks my heart to say
Please stay the **** away
Don’t wait for me beneath the mistletoe
Don’t wait for me beneath the mistletoe

credits

released December 17, 2020
Written by Helen Zaltzman, Martin Austwick, and Jenny Owen Youngs

Guitars and vocals by Jenny

Fa la las by Helen and Martin

6 string guitar, 8 string guitar, organ, and drum programming by Martin

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The Allusionettes London, UK

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